So Emotional

This is a post that I have wanted to write but I am not sure how. Every time I have thought about writing it I start getting emotional. So, please be patient. And if you don't want to read my babblings that is okay too.
When Mark and I moved into our house 4 years ago he immediately got called to serve in young mens in our ward. My calling came 3 months later to serve in the young womens. I was so excited and scared. I wasn't much older than the girls I would be teaching, the laurels (16-18 year olds). I was 22 at the time. My young women leaders had shaped me into the woman I am and I knew I could do the same. How quickly I realized that they would be teaching me. I have been to 4 girls camps, temple trips, 5 youth conference trips, firesides, everything.
Well, almost 4 years later, 5 presidencies later, and 2 of my own children later I have been released from serving in Young Womens.

I cry every time I say that.

They truly have become such a big part of my life that I feel like part of me is missing. Part of my heart aches to be with them. Even though I was ready to be released and I had been inspired by the Holy Ghost that it was time it is still so hard for me. I have not had a day go by that I don't think about my girls. Some of them I consider to be such good friends. I know that they will be strong women in this world. They are capable of doing so much good. They have made me a better person.
Every once in a while I still shed a tear. Spencer has caught me on several occasions and keeps asking "Are you sure your ok mommy?" I keep telling him I will be. At least I get hugs without asking from my sweet boy. Maybe I should cry more often ;) I hope that as I move forward to my next calling, whenever and whatever comes, that I will be up to the challenge. For now, I will try to sit in Relief Society and soak in being spiritually fed from new people. Three weeks before I got released this quote was in the lesson I gave.

"I believe in revelation—and so do you—and I believe that the Lord is getting acquainted with you right now. You missionaries that are preparing to go on your mission, do not let one day go by on your mission when you do not demonstrate to the Lord that you are reliable, that you are trustworthy, that you are dedicated, that you are committed, that you are on his side, for he is getting acquainted with the young men and the young women of this Church today. … Every day of your life he gets acquainted. Then, after he has watched you and after you have demonstrated your faithfulness by your service and by your ability to keep your priorities straight in your life, along comes a need for a high councilor, a Primary president, a Relief Society president, a bishop, or a stake president; and the Lord makes it known to the responsible priesthood leader that you are ready because you have lived up to the commitments and promises that you made before you were ever born."
~M. Russell Ballard

That quote hit my heart strings. I knew things were going to change soon. I knew that I had some things to work on and that quote said exactly what I needed. I know that the Lord expects me to be preparing. To demonstrate my faith. To keep my priorities straight. So, this is me resolving to be better. To do better.